All about wellness

When it comes to what you take in to your live it shows that your choices determine where you are going. What do you eat, what do you see, what do you smell, what kind of touch do you permit and what do you put up with from others? All of these choices say something about us and how we feel about ourselves, and each of them affects our general sense of wellness.

So what do you take in?

Most likely first of all you will be thinking of food and what you eat, but in regards to your level wellness all your senses are involved.

what you take in - nutrition

At a raw physical level, diet is a clear case in point. What you allow into your system is entirely up to you and can have obvious health positives and negatives. In many ways this kind of consumption is a metaphor for a broader sense of self worth and illustrates our level of overall wellness.

But have a look at where you live and/or work. What do you see when you look around? What pictures are hanging on your wall? Is your space neat and pleasant or does it stress you out? What do you hear throughout the day? What kind of music plays on your stereo (or maybe even your neighbors)? What sounds dominate your day?

Then again, step outside. When you walk on the beach do you rush blindly or do you really take in its beauty? At the restaurant, do you just eat the food or do your genuinely savour it, eating slowly to allow subtler flavors to shine, (not to mention digestion to work better)?

This is all stuff you take in – and it has an impact on your wellbeing.

Taking in relationships

Naturally, this also translates into relationships. The treatment you accept is the treatment you encourage. As very often, there is a price/reward mechanism at work here. Clearly we all deal with unpleasantness from our lovers, children, workmates and so on, (this is unavoidable), but we can always remind ourselves to assess whether the downside is worth the upside. Yes, it is often very hard to ‘put a stop to things’ but the long term effects are often worse than the immediate difficulty of challenging the status quo.

Part of this process involves what we give out too. When looking to confront something you do not like you can opt to do so in a calm and thoughtful way or you can fight. Of course, if you give out aggression you will almost certainly receive it in return. Again, choice.

Similarly you may choose to remain in a thoroughly dysfunctional situation but if you do so with your eyes open you can at least say, ‘this I accept, even though I hate it’ rather than ‘I have no choice and I am a victim of circumstance’. There is world of difference between these two mindsets.

What you take in from your self

However, perhaps the most fundamental aspect of ‘allowing’ is what you accept from yourself. In the West we are trained to self talk critically, (you never, you always, why can’t you, the list is endless). This frequently manifests as poor self image, lower self esteem, more harmful health choices, less satisfying and respectful relationships … you get the picture.This is the most difficult because you are the accused and the accuser.

Most of us are our harshest critic and we don’t have a lot of love for ourselves.
This is where self awareness kicks in. Really observe what you give out to yourself, take note of your self talk. What triggers it and what does it trigger in turn? This is where you can put a brake on negative internal monologue. It takes practise and vigilance but it can be done.

Living with your thoughts is like a 24/7 live in relationship. Just as when you allow a partner to abuse you so you can mistreat yourself. I’m sure you all know how unforgiving that voice in your head can be but it can be counteracted with a voice of moderation.

When that critic starts up with that familiar ‘you’re no good, I feel like shit’ line you can interrupt it. ‘Hey, come on, we know where this is going. Do we really need to feel like this?’ The answer to that question is, of course, no.

Remember:

how you treat yourself is how you treat others, and how you treat others is how you’ll be treated in return.

Wellness, in many respects, springs from this fundamental awareness and the (simple) choice that comes with it.

Be proud of your choices, until next time

the wellnessqueen

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